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Monthly Archives: May 2010

Bond, Babes Bond

Daddy's Girl. Giving Dad some room to make mistakes and take on the mundane chores of childcare really strengthened their bond to one another.

During my first few months caring for our very fussy first-born daughter, my exhaustion had reached its peak. My husband urged me to use the breast pump that sat unopened on the counter. He was able to take the first late night feeding on weekends, allowing me to get four to five hours of uninterrupted sleep — something I desperately needed. Just as important, my husband was able to bond with our daughter in a new way. After a long week at work, he savored these late night feedings alone with his baby girl.

Are you allowing others to bond with your child? Mothers and fathers (and grandparents) have very different ways of holding, playing and interacting with their babies. Research shows that babies recognize and thrive on these differences. Do you constantly correct others on the proper way to hold, feed or comfort your baby or do you let them develop their own technique? It’s great to let others know what your child prefers, but hovering and immediately taking over once a baby cries is not really the best answer.

MOM DARE: If you’re caring for an infant or young toddler, this is the week to work on loosening your strings a little. You won’t be giving up the connection that you have with your child, but allowing someone you love to form a stronger bond. Whether it’s your spouse, a grandparent or a trusted friend; let them spend time with your child without you swooping in for the rescue. Give yourself some time off and let your child understand that there is a whole village of loved ones to whom they can turn. You will see over time how relaxed and joyful a child can be when they form loving connections with the people around you. (And trust me, you will feel the same relaxation and joy knowing that your community of support is loved by your child.)

Grace and Peace,
Sharron Wright

To subscribe to my Weekly Bit of Baby Love and to take on other Mom Dares, enter your e-mail on the right under subscriptions, or sign up online at www.babylovecarebook.com/weeklybit.html

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Be a Better Partner, Get a Better Partner

Love. Fear. Terror. It's hard to tell now (5 years later) exactly what we were feeling moments after having our second baby.

In a 2009 study, a whopping 90% of new parents report a decrease in marital satisfaction following the birth of their first child. As you fall in love with your baby, the extra demands often stress your connection with your spouse. It’s helpful during these times to remember that a happy marriage doesn’t just happen, it’s the result of ongoing communication and commitment. It’s also good to know that marital satisfaction increases with time, provided you’re willing to put in the effort.

How is your marriage now? Do you find yourself short-tempered around your spouse and quick to argue or complain? Maybe you feel like your world has been turned upside down, but they are blissfully unchanged by their new role. Lack of sleep may be your biggest enemy right now, not your spouse. They are likely overwhelmed by this new responsibility and may not know how to help out.

Mom Dare: Devote time each day this week to improving your connection with your partner. Resist all urges to complain or argue. Use words of love and gratitude. Offer to do a small task like picking up the dry cleaning or preparing breakfast. If your relationship has been strained, don’t expect to be instantly compensated for your kindness. Feeding a starved marriage takes time and patience. For more ideas on improving your relationship, visit this blog by marriage expert, Lori Lowe: http://lifegems4marriage.com/2010/04/15/what-have-you-done-for-your-marriage-today/

To subscribe to my Weekly Bit of Baby Love and to take on other Mom Dares, enter your e-mail on the right under subscriptions, or sign up online at www.babylovecarebook.com/weeklybit.html

 
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Posted by on May 10, 2010 in Weekly Bits of Baby Love

 

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