Be a Better Partner, Get a Better Partner

Love. Fear. Terror. It's hard to tell now (5 years later) exactly what we were feeling moments after having our second baby.

In a 2009 study, a whopping 90% of new parents report a decrease in marital satisfaction following the birth of their first child. As you fall in love with your baby, the extra demands often stress your connection with your spouse. It’s helpful during these times to remember that a happy marriage doesn’t just happen, it’s the result of ongoing communication and commitment. It’s also good to know that marital satisfaction increases with time, provided you’re willing to put in the effort.

How is your marriage now? Do you find yourself short-tempered around your spouse and quick to argue or complain? Maybe you feel like your world has been turned upside down, but they are blissfully unchanged by their new role. Lack of sleep may be your biggest enemy right now, not your spouse. They are likely overwhelmed by this new responsibility and may not know how to help out.

Mom Dare: Devote time each day this week to improving your connection with your partner. Resist all urges to complain or argue. Use words of love and gratitude. Offer to do a small task like picking up the dry cleaning or preparing breakfast. If your relationship has been strained, don’t expect to be instantly compensated for your kindness. Feeding a starved marriage takes time and patience. For more ideas on improving your relationship, visit this blog by marriage expert, Lori Lowe:

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2 thoughts on “Be a Better Partner, Get a Better Partner

  1. lorilowe May 10, 2010 / 4:12 pm

    You’re so right that these can be challenging times, but your advice to focus on the marriage even when it’s tough is spot-on. A child-centered marriage will lack in passion, but giving each other support and love will benefit the whole family. Great tips for new parents!

    • momswithgrace May 10, 2010 / 9:56 pm

      Thank you, Lori! Your advice is always helpful, whether couples are raising babies or not. I think you wrote in one of your posts that our husbands/wives were here first. Great thing to remember.

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